


Of Lullabies and Family Planning

by NicePumpkinSpice



Series: Of Sweet Memories and Guarded Moments [32]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3573839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePumpkinSpice/pseuds/NicePumpkinSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn can't sleep again.  Cullen offers to help her calm down.  Later Cullen experiences a rite of passage for Evelyn's inner circle - having Cole bare your thoughts in the midst of travel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Lullabies and Family Planning

It was well past midnight, but Evelyn was pacing on her balcony. The Inquisitor was downing sweet rolls and licorice sticks at an alarming rate as her body struggled to keep up with her mind’s pace. She would be leaving on another extended campaign soon, and there were so many things she needed to do to get ready. Cullen had encouraged her to try to sleep, but that idea was absolutely ludicrous. She needed to prioritize and organize.

After arguing and making up with Cullen that morning, Evelyn had spent the day picking herbs, preparing potions, and requesting quick repairs for her armor and weapons. She had a heart to heart with Cassandra in the late afternoon about rebuilding the Seeker order. Working through suppertime, Evelyn cleared through the sizable pile of paperwork that had been waiting on her desk. 

Cullen had shown up at her room at the ninth hour, and she had particularly enjoyed showing him just how sorry she was for the morning’s outburst. He had fallen fast asleep shortly after they finished and had hardly stirred since. Evelyn was relieved he was resting well. The quality and quantity of his sleep determined how badly he craved lyrium as much as anything. 

Once Cullen was snoring, Evelyn had gotten dressed again and headed down to the stables. Her favorite mount had a sore hoof that Evelyn had been poulticing and healing. The mare was bearing weight more evenly, but she would not be ready for the extended trip. 

With disappointment, Evelyn went past the stalls and considered her choices. Evelyn was wary of trying one of the other horses. Her sweet mare was gentle and had steely nerves. The other horses were considerably more high strung or demanding. The hart was comfortable and never threw her off, but it made the most annoying bleating sound. The bog unicorn was too smelly and creepy. It was after all an animated horse corpse with a sword sticking out of its head. _Gross._ That left the war nugs and dracolisks as options. Sitting atop the nug spread her legs too wide and made her hips ache terribly, so the decision was made. She’d take the dracolisk and hope that it bit her less often this time.

Leaving the stables, Evelyn detoured through the kitchens grabbing chammomile tea and some sweet rolls. The night guards saluted her when she passed them. They were well acquainted with the Inquisitor’s nighttime ramblings and were more surprised when she wasn’t roaming the halls in the wee hours. She stopped by the wine cellar and picked out several bottles to take along on the trip. The quartermaster always made sure to supply them with common ales and wines, but she liked to have a few better vintages for special occasions.

She had returned to her room and was running through a mental checklist of what she needed to do during her remaining time at Skyhold. She still hadn’t gotten Varric to give Cassandra the next  Swords and Shields installment. That was a high priority. Cassandra would enjoy the book when they were at camp, and it would help the Seeker view Varric in a better light. Evelyn was sure that Varric and Cassandra would make a great pair if they could ever stop taunting each other. Also Varric needed to let go of his old flame, Bianca Davri. That woman was nothing but trouble.

She also needed to speak with Leliana more about her candidacy for the Divine. Cassandra wanted to rebuild the Seekers after the war ended. Evelyn thought that would be a much better match for Cassandra’s personality than becoming the next Divine. Cassandra hated political games, and the Divine had to be a master of them. That was why Evelyn had decided that she would support Leliana’s bid if the spymaster desired the position. Leliana thrived on intrigue and had regained her moral compass in Valence. It was an added bonus that her religious and philosophical ideals mirrored Evelyn’s. More than anything, the Chantry would need someone with a clear vision and a strong will to guide it into this new era. Leliana would do well.

Evelyn began to catalogue the various requisitions and orders that she would need to issue before leaving when she heard Cullen’s voice. “Ev, enough. Come to bed. I can’t sleep with your pacing.”

“But there’s so much I need to...” Evelyn began to argue although her body agreed with Cullen. She was physically exhausted even if her mind couldn’t rest.

“No, you need sleep. I’ll sing to you.”

That did it. Evelyn loved Cullen’s voice. A few months before, he had discovered how much it soothed her when she awoke terrified by a nightmare. Not knowing what to do, he had started singing a lullaby his mother used to put him to bed. Evelyn’s body had relaxed, and she had fallen back asleep nestled against his chest. 

Evelyn climbed into bed eagerly and placed her ear on his chest, so she could better hear and feel the vibrations it made when he sang. He hugged her close to him and began to hum. She placed one of her tiny hands on his chest which he held gently while his other hand rubbed her back in languid circles. Then he began to sing:

_Sleep, my sweet, no need to cry for the day’s passing sigh._  
_Rest, my dear, upon your bed. Dawn will come. You needn’t dread._  
_Maker’s love surrounds us here. Peace to calm your ev’ry fear._  
_Soar on wings the Fade’s blue skies, while I whisper lullabies._

By the second time he repeated the refrain, Evelyn’s body had grown heavy and her breathing slow and regular. Cullen kissed the top of her head and allowed himself to drift asleep as well.

************************

Two days later, Evelyn had completed every task on her mental checklist and was heading out Skyhold’s gates. Usually, Cullen would see her off, but this time he was riding beside her - or more accurately near here. His Fereldan charger was intimidated by the dracolisk she was riding, so he had to keep his mount a bit behind Evelyn’s. Cullen did not understand why Evelyn decided on taking the giant lizard for their trip. It nipped at anything that got near its mouth, and Cullen had learned from riding behind the beast that it also had terrible gas. Evelyn, however, was content with her choice stating that it was more mobile and less injury prone than a horse. 

Cullen was thrown by how chatty her companions were. They were constantly teasing each other or gossiping about their comrades. While it was amusing to listen to at first, Cullen’s head was starting to hurt from the relentless banter. He noticed Evelyn rarely joined in the conversation unless she was directly addressed or had to mediate arguments. It reminded him a bit of long wagon rides with his family where his father would sit silently steaming while his mother occasionally intervened in the chaos he and his three siblings caused in the back of the wagon. 

Watching Evelyn play mother to her squad mates made Cullen think what she would be like with their children. It didn’t initially strike him as odd that he was considering such things even though they had been together only a few months. He knew without a doubt that she was “the one.” He was even getting ready to ask her about her views on children when an ugly reality interrupted his daydream. Mages weren’t allowed to marry nor were they permitted to raise their own children (or at least that had been the case when the Circles existed.) 

“Copper for you thoughts.” Evelyn said breaking his concentration.

“What? Oh, I wasn’t really thinking about anything in particular.” Cullen lied.

“Really? Because it looked like you were having a pleasant daydream, and then you started clenching your sword hand and frowning.”

_Evelyn is annoyingly observant._ He didn’t want to discuss marriage, children, and the Chantry now - especially not in front of their traveling party, so he just answered, “We’ll talk later,” while gesturing at her friends who had stopped babbling and were clearly listening.

“That good - huh? Well, I look forward to it.” Evelyn said with a wink.

If Cullen had thought the conversation averted, Cole’s appearance near them should have tipped Cullen off that he would not be so fortunate.

“Why does the Chantry take mages’ children?” Cole asked Cullen innocently and earnestly.

A ribald series of expletives danced through Cullen’s head as he tried to formulate a response. He glanced over at Evelyn, who he could tell was listening intently, even if she hadn’t turned toward them.

“Why does it make you angry that I asked?” Cole continued.

_Shit. He’s reading my mind. Cole, if you’re listening, get out of my head._ Cullen thought.

“I’m sorry. I felt the hurt. I’m trying to understand.” Cole said out loud.

“Maker’s breath!” Cullen said in exasperation. 

Evelyn snickered. “He does that to everyone. You’ll get used to it. So what had you thinking about mages and their children?”

Cullen groaned. “Can’t we talk about this later?”

“Absolutely not.” Dorian interrupted. “I’m riveted to see how you answer these inquiries, Commander. Don’t you agree, Sera?”

The elf responded with a snort and a cascading nasal laugh. “He’s up shit creek that one. I wanna see him try to paddle.”

“Cullen.” Cassandra said in her thick accent. Cullen relaxed when he heard Cassandra’s voice. He felt sure the Seeker would end this harassment, but he was mistaken. “I have found it easiest to answer Cole’s questions. He can be quite dogged.”

“Is this what happens on your trips? Cole blurts out peoples’ thoughts, and then you watch them squirm?” Cullen asked no one in particular.

“Pretty much.” Varric answered, “Come on, Curly, out with it. Having the Kid bare your deepest thoughts or darkest secrets is pretty much a rite of passage for us.”

“Fine. I noticed that Evelyn acted like a mother to your group - settling disputes, making decisions. That got me thinking what she would be like as a mother if we were to have children.”

“Boss, you’ve got him making imaginary babies.” Bull shouted. “Did you take my advice about apologizing?” Evelyn shot Bull a dirty look who then threw up an exultant fist and shouted, “Taarsidath-an halsaam!”

At that point, Cullen didn’t know whether he should draw his sword and challenge Bull to a fight or simply impale himself. _Why did I want to travel with them again?_

Evelyn gave him a sympathetic look. “You don’t have to continue, Cullen.”

“No, I’m in this deep. I might as well drown.” Cullen replied. “Then I remembered the Chantry’s stance on mages and children. At which point, people started invading my thoughts, and here we are - satisfied?”

“Not even by a half.” Dorian said gleefully. Dorian had been subjected to some of Cole’s more intrusive questioning after he had unwisely told Cole he could ask Dorian anything. It was entertaining to watch someone else twist in the wind for a change.

“Dorian, enough.” Evelyn said firmly.

“I’ll leave Cullen alone, but don’t think I didn’t notice that you intervened for him much faster than you did for me. I shan’t be sharing my merlot tonight.” Dorian pouted.

“Your merlot? That is from the Inquisition’s cellars.” Evelyn snapped.

“Yes, but I chose it and brought it along. Finder’s keepers and whatnot.”

“But why do the templars take the babies?” Cole persisted.

Cullen didn’t know how to answer. He knew the official reasons but knowing Evelyn made them all ring hollow. He took a deep breath and tried to decide how to respond. Before he could speak, Cassandra intervened. 

“Because a mage is more likely to give birth to a child with magic, the Chantry declared that mages should neither marry nor procreate. When the Circles stood, templars took children born of mages, so they could be raised outside a Circle according to Chantry principles.” Cassandra said as if reciting from a training manual.

“But _why_?” Cole kept on.

Evelyn answered, “Because mages are cursed by the Maker. Right, Cullen? Cassandra?” Before they could answer, Evelyn had spurred her dracolisk into a gallop. Cullen kicked his charger to match her speed.

“I made it worse.” Cole said balefully.

“Shit.” Varric and Bull said in unison. 

Cassandra ordered the group to stop and set up camp. They were clearly done for the day.

It didn’t take Cullen’s horse long to gain on Evelyn’s mount. He called out to her asking her to stop, and to his surprise she complied. She slid off the dracolisk and held its reins tightly. The giant lizard immediately began biting at Evelyn’s hand. She yelped and dropped the reins, and the lizard trotted off toward where the others were setting up camp. 

Cullen dismounted and walked over to Evelyn who was staring at her bloodied hand. “Let me see it, “ he said. She gingerly extended her hand to him. The lizard had scraped a good bit of her skin off but had not taken a finger. “Can you heal it?” he asked. She kept gazing at her hand blankly.

“Ev, you’re bleeding all over the place. Let me poultice it if you don’t feel up to healing right now.” She nodded, and he reached into his saddle bags for bandages and ointments. She stayed silent as he cleaned and dressed the wound which pulsed with the mark’s magic.

“Thanks.” she said finally. “I wasn’t sure how to heal it with it being so close to the mark. Solas will know what to do.” She winced. “It really hurts. The mark always aches, but this makes the pain exquisite.”

“Do we need to get you to Solas now?” he said with concern.

“No, I’ll manage. You can dump me first.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m a mage. You want a family. You heard Cassandra. You were a templar. You know the Chantry doesn’t permit mages to marry or have families. Technically, you shouldn’t even be involved with me at all. It’s okay. I understand.”

“No, it is not okay. What the Chantry did - the rules I enforced as a templar. They were wrong. _I_ was wrong. There isn’t a person on this planet that would make a better wife or mother than you.”

“That’s very sweet, but it doesn’t change anything. If marriage and children are important to you, then you need to find someone that can give you that.” She said as cooly as if she were turning down a request from a minor noble.

“ _You_ are important to me. I want to be with you.”

“But you also want children.”

“Yes, but...”

“There shouldn’t be a ‘but,‘ Cullen. If you want to be a father, you should.” Evelyn was struggling to maintain the detached tone she used with dignitaries.

“Evelyn, if you don’t want children or can’t have them, I can accept that. It isn’t a dealbreaker for me. Is that it? You don’t want a family?”

“I don’t know what a family is, Cullen. I can hardly remember my own. Between the Chantry’s rules and my lack of role models, I’m not sure that a family is anything I can or should want.” Evelyn’s voice was becoming increasingly shaky, but she continued speaking. “If you and I had a baby and someone came to take it from us... I couldn’t. I couldn’t....” She broke into racking sobs.

Cullen put his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. “This isn’t something that has to be decided now, Evelyn. I want to be with you. Marriage and children are optional. But if we did have a child, no one would take him from us. I would make sure of that.”

“Him? So sure it would be a boy?” Evelyn joked.

“There’s my girl. I love you, Ev. You know that right?”

Evelyn smiled and whispered, “I love you, too." Cullen pulled her into a long, hard kiss which he didn’t break away from even when hoots and whistles came from the camp their companions had just made.

**Author's Note:**

> Unlike Cullen, I love hearing the characters chatter at each other. I suffered through several near silent playthroughs because of the banter bug, but enjoyed listening to DanaDuchy's recordings of banter in my car. I'm sure the other moms in carline thought I was batty laughing myself silly while I waited for school to let out.


End file.
